Finding Passion.....

There is a lot floating around these days that attempts to inspire people to live their passion, find their passion, be passionate.  I've been lacking that in my life for some time.  I am passionate about being a mom and a wife, a christian and a daughter, but I have left my interests on the shelf for far to long.  Oh, I've got them down and dusted them off at certain times for a nostalgic looksy and then properly put them back with a lot of excuses and a little regret and dare I say.....resentment.

I've had to ask myself what are my passions, pursuits and talents.  I've been guilty of talking down to myself.  I've told myself, "You're a mom, you've been out of the workplace for a while, and you are not "specialized" in anything.  It is surely time to stop that negative, nasty talk!   My answer to the question of identifying my passions and interests has zeroed in on two things....writing and reading.

Yep, that's it.  I love to read and I love to write.  So why am I not filling my time with these.  I have over the course of this year met and exceeded a reading goal.  I have been pleased with my variety of reading material in that completed list.  But...I have not written in a long time.  Most writers, if I may be so bold to stereotype, suffer from a complex that makes them question if what they are writing is meaningful or will it be valuable to anyone else?  Well if some of our most amazing writers had asked that question, they would have closed up shop.  Austen, Dickinson, Piatt all were sadly undervalued in their writing lifetime.  I have no wish to put myself up with these esteemed and talented people but my point is, the value to others may not matter as much as the value to yourself.

I love language and I love the words ability to put pictures and details in our minds of beauty that are uniquely our own.  I love the feeling of writing something that makes you feel like you have expressed yourself and let the chips fall where they may.  I love when someone's thoughts inspire someone to contemplate and change.  Now those are all lofty ambitions, I may never achieve but I'd rather live with some passion and try.

So here's to a resurrection of my blog.  Maybe it was, all along, more for me than for my message to others.