Busy, I suppose. But when it comes down to it, I miss writing and wish I would make it a bigger priority even when things get crazy in my life. Let me catch ya up in just a few lines.....
I was pregnant......
I had a Charlotte.....
And now I drink obscene amounts of coffee!!!
The End
Well, that's not really it, and if it was, you would not expect a blogger to say it in so few words.
I've had some hard days. Going from two to three has thrown me for a loop. Charlotte is my answered prayer and little angel from heaven, but she is a finicky little thing and with the demands of the other two, I have lived in a constant feeling of failure to all of them. One day I want to be superwoman and get a lot of items checked off and the next day I am curled up on the couch snuggling Charlotte and content to never move again. Charlotte in the mean time would prefer that I feel the latter everyday and on my productive days tends to protest loudly and at times quite frantically that I get my backside in my rocker and pay homage to her adorableness.
Today, in a moment of, "I can't do this!", I thought to pray for strength and then the fleeting thought of the Lord doesn't understand or care how hard this is popped into my head, surely from Satan himself! I immediately rebuked myself! The Lord created me, my children, my husband and fussy, sweet babies and he knows all of them better than I do!
When Tommy and I joke around and I try to convince him of my awesomeness (in a playful way), he comes out with the phrase, "you better check yourself." I had that moment this morning! God told Job that very thing when Job questioned him. And it was in those chapters that I found my answer! Does the Lord understand motherhood? Absolutely!
"Do you know when the mountain goats give birth? Do you observe the calving of the does? Can you number the months that they fulfill, and do you know the time when they give birth, when they crouch, bring forth their offspring and are delivered of their young? Their young ones become strong; they group up in the open; they go out and do not return to them." Job 39:1-4
If God has the mountain goats and their little ones in check and in his care, then I think he has me, the adopted child that he sent his son to die for. He knows me, he knows my failures and shortcomings and he knows my triumphant moments. He knows my ugliest moments and yet, he choose to bless me anyway, with a home, husband, children, salvation, and a host of other blessings that I do not deserve. Reminds of another verse that references sweet little animals...(apparently I'm a sucker for biblical references to baby animals and furry or feathered friends).
"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. (or about royally messing up your kids. This is my biblical insert, not found in the original version!) Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow or reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?" Matthew 6:25-26
If the all powerful and all knowing creator and master of the universe knows and cares about the mother goat and her kids, then I can rest assured that he cares about this mother soul and her kids! The Lord, thankfully, did not strike me dead for my questions of him this morning, just as he was patient with Job. I appreciate that grace and mercy. Also I appreciate the fact that the message to Job spoke to me as well today. I best check myself, and remember for everything I question to the Lord, I am talking to an all knowing being who's ways are greater and higher than my own and who's thoughts are unfathomable to my little grey matter lump!
And now I need to go drink more coffee....
But we all need a smidgen and a pinch of furry cuteness first!
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