Being a big sister....

In 1977 the world was graced by my presence.  At that time I immediately inherited the role of daughter and grand-daughter.  I continued to add a few other roles to my resume; friend, student, chatterbox and  opinionated Conover household troublemaker.

Short of Christian wife and mother there are very few roles I have enjoyed more in life than that of big sister.  If you are an only child, my apologies to you right away.  This entry is in no way intended to make you feel like you missed out on apart of life.  I have been blessed by many only children through the years, my father and best friend being two examples, and recognize the special place the Lord had you occupy to your parent's hearts.

I have very few memories of my only child days even though they were about five in number.  I have no recollections of a desire for a brother or sisters.  I do remember my mom and dad telling me about the upcoming addition to our family and being excited about it.  When the time came, I remember going to the hospital and looking through the little window in the nursery door.  As I peered through two nurses appeared and held two babies up for my wide almond shaped eyes to see.  I can only imagine the width grew as I looked at my shell shocked father and asked, "which one is ours?"

We brought them both home, as surprising as a set of twins was to us, and my sisterly relationship began.  I was immediately smitten.  For the better part of a decade we played, buddied up and talked.  I was proud of them (still am) and was ready to fight to the death anyone who would try to harm them.  Although, I was pretty good at fighting with them, ironically.  At the end of the first decade when I was well into my teen years, I was a bit more distant.  I like to say I was stumbling a bit and trying to find my way, but I know at times I was not always what I should have been to them.

I have always imagined Martha to be the big sister.  I, of course, have no scriptural proof of that but when I look at her interactions with Jesus, I seem to identify more with her for that reason.  She is the one that feels like she must get things done.  She loves the truth and our Lord but she is practical and very keenly aware of the physical needs and comfort of others.  She also strikes me as someone who may have taken her brother's death as a personal fault of her own, but she goes out to meet our Lord because of her deep faith.  In other words, she was deeply flawed but capable of deep love and devotion.  That definition is a big sister in a nutshell, an imperfect woman desperately wanting to be all she can be to those siblings she loves so dearly.

As Christians and spiritual sisters we need to feel that love and devotion for not only our physical siblings but even more with those that we plan to spend an eternity in heaven with.  You are the big sister in Christ to someone.  My hope is that we can all step out a bit from the comfort box and search for that lonely "only child" in Christ, so to speak.  That person that seems to be on the outside fringe of fellowship with other sisters.

To follow are just some ideas to try when you take a step outside the comfort zone.  Some I have tried and some I have not.  We should never perform a scriptural activity like encouraging a fellow sister with the attitude of "what we can get out of it, " but you will be blessed even if it is just the precious sight of her smile.

• Invite the sister for coffee, lunch or dinner, either at your home or out. 
• Ask her to help you with a bible class or project you have, especially if you can match up one of her talents to something in the activity.  Her blessing you will also have a trickle down effect where she has blessed numerous others.  
• Find a craft she enjoys and get together to either do that specific craft or another while she enjoys hers.  
• Send a card to her in the mail.  So many of us neglect this now because of our social media and quick instant text messages, but a pretty card sent snail mail can really change the tone of someone's day.  
• Seek her out at events and make a point to speak to her.  If you are in charge of some area of the event ask for her to assist you.  
• Be her secret sister.  Not in a stalker, or creepy way, but maybe one or two times a year you do an anonymous gift or treat for her.  
• Help her in lighting her burden.  This may seem like a no brainer but sometimes these sisters are neglected and they are not as quickly aided.  If you hear she is having some trial or difficulty make an offer of help.  
• Pray for her.  Even if it is just for her to have a good day, she needs that more than anything.