Chinese Water Torture...nope....just my wife.....

I am often struck by the tidbits of convicting evidence against myself and my actions as I browse Proverbs.  Some of the Proverbs I know instinctually by heart now as the Lord has been working on my heart from childhood but sometimes one will pop up and just hit me square in-between the eyes.

"A foolish son is ruin to his father, and a wife's quarreling is a continual dripping of rain.  House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord." Proverbs 19:13-14

Do you remember the controversy over water boarding?  It is a form of persuasive interrogation.  It makes the one being interrogated feel as if he is drowning by laying his head at a downward angle and then pouring water over his head.  Another form of water torture used in both China and Spain was Chinese or Spanish water torture.  According to Wikipedia: 

"Victims were strapped down so that they could not move, and cold or warm water was then dripped slowly on to a small area of the body; usually the forehead. The forehead was found to be the most suitable point for this form of torture because of its sensitivity: prisoners could see each drop coming, and after long durations were gradually driven frantic as a perceived hollow would form in the center of the forehead."

I don't know about you but somedays when Tommy returns home I can be a constant dripping of rain.  It goes a bit like this: 

Me: "Hi Babe!  Welcome home!  How was your day?"

Sometimes I let him answer that question and other days I start in not as a dripping but as a full gush of rain water almost as if I was a downspout!  

"Your son did this."  drip drop.....

"Then I had to fight this all day with Emma." drop drip.....

"The washer is not spinning out aaaaagain!!!" drip, drip, drip.....

"I can't figure out how to fix the chain on JT's bike."   drip, drip, drip, drip, drip.....

"I'm exhausted and after this I need to get out of here for a while and by the way I was going to fix this for dinner but I didn't get it thawed because of all the above stated issues!"  Gush, gush, gush, gush......

And before I know it my husband is literally drowning and I am not being the prudent wife from the Lord mentioned in the next verse.  Prudent means acting with or showing care and thought for the future.  How can I be more prudent?  How can I show more care and thought for my husband's future even if it is just the comfort and peace of his upcoming evening?  

Daniel used prudence and discretion when the king was angry and furious......(Daniel 2:12-14)

Hmmm......

Solomon places a high value on giving prudence to the simple and discretion to the youth as a beginning reason for his Proverbs.....(Proverbs 1:1-7)

Solomon also says for simple ones to learn prudence and fools to learn sense......(Proverbs 8:5)

Hmmm.....

Could it be that I could use more sense, in how I approach reporting on these events I rushed at Tommy.  Could I use more discretion in my timing, by maybe letting the man come in, get a drink of water or tea and change clothes before I bombard him with my overflowing needs, wants and gripes?  

Maybe I should give that I try.  Maybe that would at least be a lifesaver against the flood waters I just brought upon him.  

A Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father, 
Thank you so much for your wisdom of the home and family, especially for husbands, Lord.  We praise you for your great design in the man's purpose in leading his family and guiding.  Father, I ask that as we walk daily to strive to be a helpmeet to him.  That we use discretion, and sense in how we bring things before them.  Just as we come to you humbly and with care please help us to approach our husbands with honor and prudence.  

In Your son's name, Amen.  

Throw Back Thursday......

I have heard often that in order to know where you are going, you must first know where you came from.

I wonder if the person who first coined this phrase was perpetually lost?

Because I know a little of where I came from.  Enough to pique my interest in family history and such, but outside of some goals, hopes and dreams the only place I know for sure I want to go is Heaven!

Throw back Thursdays have become popular on Facebook and I know that more than likely some of my readers shrink away from them for that very fact of their popularity.  I happen to enjoy seeing pictures of school friends how I remember them, and vintage and retro pics of family members gone but not forgotten.

I had some very important people in my life and the fact is that very few are alive that knew them, remember their funny stories or recall what they did in life.  I feel it's important to make sure future generations starting with my children know these special people and if that means that cyberspace becomes a method of preserving some of those facts and memories than so be it.

Meet Grandma and Grandpa Conover or to the world Herbert Lawrence Conover and JoAnn Hodson Conover.

As a little girl, I honestly thought this was the most beautiful wedding dress in the world.  I loved the fifties shortness (meaning not floor length) of the dress and the neckline.  Let's just say that I have spent many a you tube video on how to get my hair in that pin curl style my grandma is sporting to no avail and some honest, good natured embarrassment.   My grandpa standing tall,  handsome and accomplished.  WWII veteran and college graduate (first one in family and only until I graduated!).  It embodies vintage perfection in my mind.  

My worry and concern comes from what I see during one of my favorite past times.  I love to browse antique shops.  One of the dime a dozen items is old photographs.  They collect in old enamelware bowls and old sewing boxes and become part of the landscape of a vendor's booth.  They have no identity and no purpose outside of scrapbooking, and people's moderate interest of days gone by.  It would hurt a part of my soul for this above photo to end up in a miss mash of old photos and relics of no body knows who.  It would be hard to know that these two extraordinary people were glanced at but not appreciated or remembered.

Herbert a.ka. "Herb" a.k.a "Gopher" spent most of his childhood years growing up in this building that at first glance appears picturesque and cozy:

This is the Highland County Children's Home in Hillsboro, Ohio.  It apparently burned sometime in the   1960's or 70's and is no longer there.  

My grandpa started out life as a baby with two parents in a home.  But when my grandpa was just an infant his father was holding him on his lap one day and bent to put on his shoes.  Grandpa's mom told him to put Herbert on the sofa or you could topple and fall and crush him.  So my great grandfather did just that and in a twist of fate when he went to put his shoes on, he collapsed out of the chair onto the floor and immediately died.  Apparently, or was thought from an aneurysm.  Poor great grandma Conover was soon after in an asylum and apparently was never recovered enough to interact with her children much after.  So this orphanage was where Herb grew up.  He never talked about it much.  He had some woman who maternally helped him in life and I am so glad because what I know of early 20th century orphanages made me upset to think he spent his childhood in one.  Whatever happened in this house, made my grandfather, loving toward children to the point where spoiling was just a norm.  

Fast forward a bit he enlisted during WWII and fought on the Pacific front, managed to be demoted in rank at one time (rascal he was), won a purple heart and survived!  Even was able to see this while he was there: 

Here is the rascal (as he would often call himself) in a battalion photo I found online.  He was a Marine, through and through! 

Fast forward again and my grandpa married my grandma and they had my daddy.  My grandfather worked for the Air Force as a civilian and went to Viet Nam and Korea several times.  He was made of tough stuff and myself and my sisters were his pride and joy.  There is not a day that goes by that I do not miss this man and wish I had just maybe an hour more to ask the questions I never thought to ask as a child.  But until I meet him again, I will remember him like this:

Grandma Conover has always fascinated me.  I would stay up late with her and ask her questions about family history and old family stories.  She greatly loved family heritage and history and I suppose she was able to pass that on to me.  There were some things she did not discuss one was a mysterious love interest that was rumored to have passed away before she met my grandfather.  But again this was just a story to me.  The other is why she stopped flying.  Yes!  This pretty woman:

....at one time piloted her father's plane.  Apparently was ready to go solo when friends of her's crashed and were badly injured and paralyzed.  She never flew as a pilot again.  The above picture has "JoAnn Hodson in Columbus" written on the back.  I liked that because it had to have been taken before her marriage somewhere in Columbus, OH where I was living at the time I found the picture.  

My grandmother was the first born child of my great grandparents, Wilbur and Cleda Hodson.  Cleda had had a miscarriage the year before and my great grandma was pregnant with grandma in fall of the following year.  It apparently was scary at one point.  Listen to Cleda's words as she explains how my grandma almost didn't make it into the world.  

"The next fall, Wilbur said, "it's going to frost tonight, so we better get the pumpkins out of the garden."  He (Wilbur) told me to stay on the outside of the fence and he would hand them to me over the fence.  He let one slip out of his hands and it hit me on the stomach.  'Oh', he said, 'now I've done it.'  But December 14th JoAnn was born and she was the pride of the Hodsons."  ~an excerpt from "Bits of Remembrance of Little Things in My Life" by Cleda Hodson

This woman (JoAnn) apparently was notorious for teasing and annoying her little brother.  Once when they were getting ready to go somewhere one evening she would act like she was coming out of the bathroom from getting ready and as soon as her brother (Dale) would get up to go and dress she would dash back in.  Finally, Dale tired of this and he grabbed her and promptly put her over his knee and  spanked her.  My great grandmother felt she deserved it and did not intervene!  This story which I had not recalled for many years gave me a chuckle today and showed my grandmother's ornery side.   

I do remember very clearly the love she showed me and the pride she had that I was her first grandchild.  

I'm the cutie in the lap of the lady in the chair.  That is my great, great grandma Murphy.  I have been a very privileged little girl in that I have known and can remember a great, great grandmother, two great grandmothers and two grandmothers.  What a blessing!  I had two great and two grandfathers in my life and their memories as well.  

Why do I feel compelled to put this on my blog?  Because, even though as a child you are tempted to almost canonize into sainthood these grandparents, I would not be here without them.  They inspired me, they challenged me, they at times angered me and through it all I have a clearer path for my future. 

While I realize that this all may have been a bit deeper than your normal "Throw Back Thursday," don't you also have those saint like people in your life who you in your childlike innocence never imagined did anything ever wrong?  

Keep their memory going......

I would love to hear about them!  In the comments tell me about your special Throw Back Thursday person or persons!  They are a part of your timeline and if you read this then I think you are special so share with me and together we can make sure none of our special people end up as decor in some antique lovers home!  

Speaking of.....grandma Conover loved antiques.  

Being a big sister....

In 1977 the world was graced by my presence.  At that time I immediately inherited the role of daughter and grand-daughter.  I continued to add a few other roles to my resume; friend, student, chatterbox and  opinionated Conover household troublemaker.

Short of Christian wife and mother there are very few roles I have enjoyed more in life than that of big sister.  If you are an only child, my apologies to you right away.  This entry is in no way intended to make you feel like you missed out on apart of life.  I have been blessed by many only children through the years, my father and best friend being two examples, and recognize the special place the Lord had you occupy to your parent's hearts.

I have very few memories of my only child days even though they were about five in number.  I have no recollections of a desire for a brother or sisters.  I do remember my mom and dad telling me about the upcoming addition to our family and being excited about it.  When the time came, I remember going to the hospital and looking through the little window in the nursery door.  As I peered through two nurses appeared and held two babies up for my wide almond shaped eyes to see.  I can only imagine the width grew as I looked at my shell shocked father and asked, "which one is ours?"

We brought them both home, as surprising as a set of twins was to us, and my sisterly relationship began.  I was immediately smitten.  For the better part of a decade we played, buddied up and talked.  I was proud of them (still am) and was ready to fight to the death anyone who would try to harm them.  Although, I was pretty good at fighting with them, ironically.  At the end of the first decade when I was well into my teen years, I was a bit more distant.  I like to say I was stumbling a bit and trying to find my way, but I know at times I was not always what I should have been to them.

I have always imagined Martha to be the big sister.  I, of course, have no scriptural proof of that but when I look at her interactions with Jesus, I seem to identify more with her for that reason.  She is the one that feels like she must get things done.  She loves the truth and our Lord but she is practical and very keenly aware of the physical needs and comfort of others.  She also strikes me as someone who may have taken her brother's death as a personal fault of her own, but she goes out to meet our Lord because of her deep faith.  In other words, she was deeply flawed but capable of deep love and devotion.  That definition is a big sister in a nutshell, an imperfect woman desperately wanting to be all she can be to those siblings she loves so dearly.

As Christians and spiritual sisters we need to feel that love and devotion for not only our physical siblings but even more with those that we plan to spend an eternity in heaven with.  You are the big sister in Christ to someone.  My hope is that we can all step out a bit from the comfort box and search for that lonely "only child" in Christ, so to speak.  That person that seems to be on the outside fringe of fellowship with other sisters.

To follow are just some ideas to try when you take a step outside the comfort zone.  Some I have tried and some I have not.  We should never perform a scriptural activity like encouraging a fellow sister with the attitude of "what we can get out of it, " but you will be blessed even if it is just the precious sight of her smile.

• Invite the sister for coffee, lunch or dinner, either at your home or out. 
• Ask her to help you with a bible class or project you have, especially if you can match up one of her talents to something in the activity.  Her blessing you will also have a trickle down effect where she has blessed numerous others.  
• Find a craft she enjoys and get together to either do that specific craft or another while she enjoys hers.  
• Send a card to her in the mail.  So many of us neglect this now because of our social media and quick instant text messages, but a pretty card sent snail mail can really change the tone of someone's day.  
• Seek her out at events and make a point to speak to her.  If you are in charge of some area of the event ask for her to assist you.  
• Be her secret sister.  Not in a stalker, or creepy way, but maybe one or two times a year you do an anonymous gift or treat for her.  
• Help her in lighting her burden.  This may seem like a no brainer but sometimes these sisters are neglected and they are not as quickly aided.  If you hear she is having some trial or difficulty make an offer of help.  
• Pray for her.  Even if it is just for her to have a good day, she needs that more than anything.  

White Noise and info overload......

Thank you again for stopping by and I am honored that you take the time to read thoughts.  For the last couple of days I have considered what I want this to be.  Facebook, Twitter and other sites have become like an archery competition.  Everyone throwing thoughts like arrows out into cyberspace for all to see.

 No depth.  

No deep connection.  

Now before you go thinking I am just bashing Facebook.  I am not.  I love Facebook.  I enjoy connections I have made and renewed on there.  But after reading my posts or me reading yours, do we know each any better?

I was driving to my core workout class this morning and I stopped at a light behind a Nissan Versa.  Or at least I think it was a Versa.  It was difficult to tell because the entire back of the person's car was plastered in bumper stickers in a manner that made it look more like a patchwork quilt than a hatchback vehicle.  I looked at this car and asked myself what the owner was trying to say.  They were obviously trying to tell me something.  They must have had some very deep rooted beliefs in some various subjects to pepper their transportation source with such a colorful display.   But, as the light turned green and they turned and I continued on, their desperate attempt to convey messages to me was a failure.  It was too many images, too many messages and not enough space, or time to process them all.  

I wanted to take that lesson to heart as I branched out in a new social media type of form.  Communication has always been a priority for me.  (Ask my family and you will probably get giggles and eye rolls, because in their mind I have not shut my mouth since being born.) As a person that tends to over communicate, my hope in this space is to suppress that and instead replace it with a place for me to meaningfully communicate.  As I come here and reflect I hope to not just be white noise to you.  When we part ways each time from this cyber "chat" we both feel that it was worth our time to be here.    So my presence here may be weekly at times or a couple times a month.  I have no desire to annoy someone who enters with an abundance of opinions or rants.  Nor do I wish to portray a picturesque life here that is not true to our household and home.  

When you do come I hope to welcome you and each of us leaves feeling we can lead our lives in glory to God just a bit better than when we first came.  This may be a lofty idea.  I may fail, many times in that goal, but we can strive.  Most of all, in all we do it needs to bring glory to God.  If I fail in that you would be a friend to me by showing me.  I always want to leave a conversation with love.  Love never fails, but it sometimes can say things that we do not like to hear.  That is okay.  Conversation by its very nature should be engaging and not just soothing, telling us everything we like to hear.  It should make us think, act or change.  However, I will try to observe 1 Corinthians 13:1 when I speak:

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal."

No noisy gong or clanging cymbal in this space!  No Versa's with an overload of messages and no white noise machines that fade into the background.  Meaningful communication is the order of the day.

A blog.....

The medium is practically a dime a dozen these days.  You are either trying to record memories, journaling, imparting some type of knowledge about a certain subject in which the information may be useful to others, or you are self absorbed and feel that anyone should and would enjoy hearing about you and your adventures.

Or.....
Humans have kept journals and diaries for quite a while and perhaps we do all have valuable life information to share with one another.  Blogs are just the latest in this long held tradition of putting thoughts into words onto paper and in the hands of someone who shall read and glean, if they can, anything from it.  The title is "smidgenandapinch" or more correctly, "smidgen and a pinch".  Because that is what everything is.  A smidgen of this and a pinch of that and it makes the world go round.

Somedays this may be a soapbox.....

Other days it may be an adventure with my children and our homeschool Pickard Academy.......

Still others it may be a cooking blog.......

or a gardening blog (psst.....don't take any advice here as I am still a very new newbie!)

Told ya!  See the weeds!  

But I thank you for coming along with me.  

Who am I?   Let me tell you.  I'm me!  

Daughter of the most High God, saved by His grace through the sacrifice of His Son, Jesus Christ, wife to the most patient and loving man human being there ever was......(him in the middle holding the pie)

Mommy to two blessings I do not deserve, headmistress of the Pickard Academy, Buckeye married to a Buckeye undergrad and Aggie graduate, addicted to boot camp, reader of books, lover of cooking but hater of baking, dreamer of writing, bit of a type A perfectionist personality, and constant worrier!  

Welcome to my thoughts and musings.  You honor me with your presence here!