Here we are but straying pilgrims....

The stress was mounting.  I was torn 

between trying to let go and tear away and hanging onto the roots that had taken hold for almost a decade and a half.  We hopped from one "goodbye" to the next.  We put up a tiny little Christmas tree with some discount ornaments because all our other items had been packed.  There was a ting of excitement frosted with a lot of nervousness and sprinkled with a little reluctance.  

You see, this was me four years ago, almost to the day.  We were packing up our house of over a decade, the one I brought my babies home too, and moving to an illusive place called Memphis, where I was sure I was going to be shot.  You know, because everyone that moves to Memphis lives out their own "48 Hours" reality TV show as soon as they enter the suburbs of the area!  

Not true!  But....

I did not know that yet and I was sure about two things.....

1.  That no one would visit me. 

And 

2.  I was going to hate it.  

Homesickness set in and I am pretty sure my dear sweet friends in Memphis simultaneously patted my back and hugged me while rolling their eyes which inferred for me "to get a grip."  I spent a good year being homesick. 

But during that year we were meeting some of the greatest people on the planet!  Seriously folks, you really need to make Memphis a go-to place for yourself. 

I've found in reflection that I had some growing to do.  The only way for that to happen was transplanting.  Not many have indoor house plants but growing up my mom had a ton and when the plant was bigger and had outgrown it's current pot you would have to move it to a bigger one thereby "transplanting" it.  I was a Northern, Yankee, Buckeye in a Sounthern, SEC, Blusey kind of place.....you don't get much more transplanted than that my friends.  

So here I am four years from that time and transplanted again.  I believe reflection is warranted and even commanded from God.  Have I learned all he wanted me to during this sojourn?  I hope so.  I know he will teach me more as time goes on and more "transplanting"happens.  So in no particular order....what I learned and am learning through two moves, a baby and chaos.....

1.  Meeting people.  Getting out there and meeting souls is a beautiful thing.  I like my comfort zone but these geographical moves made me seek people.  I have met some of the best and some I will love eternally!  I never would have met them in my first planted pot.  Would I go back and do it all again?  Absolutely!!!  Memphis, Fort Wayne....it doesn't matter, people need each other and I've had the privilege to expand my people!  Thank you for being my people!!

2.  I saw more than my own mindset.  Even though people are people, there are cultural differences between different regions in the U.S.  Moving had got me outside my own mindset, allowing me as Atticus says, in To Kill A Mockingbird, "walk around in someone else's shoes." The south really does have some great manners.  They are some of the most hospitable people I know.  I love the values they pass to their children.  But the North also has so many attributes!  Loyalty, friendship, family.  My world and it's view has expanded thanks to my travels.  Never would I thought I would have questioned Abraham Lincoln's moves during the Civil War but after living in that part of the country I find it interesting to discuss if he abused his power during that time.  I digress, but you see how I questioned some long held assumptions about myself.  

3.  I've written about this before on my love for Memphis but in reflection, I am thankful for my moves because......BBQ Nachos came into my life!  BBQ Nachos ....just go there and try them.  You will never regret it.  

4.  Being away made me appreciate being home.  It made me appreciate my family and my time with them. They did come visit (although probably less for me and more for reason #3) and we went home to visit.  

5.  Home really is where the heart is.  So if that is true I have about a dozen "homes" scattered around the Eastern half of the U.S.  My heart is with people I love (refer to #1!). My sister's homes, my parents', in laws and all my dear friends who I've shared with are all "home."  

6.  I'm pretty sure God never wanted us to get too comfy here.  In not saying that everyone has to move....but I'm saying that I use the moves as my remembrance that I'm going "home" one day. Abraham was told to leave family and home.  Joseph was sold away from family and home.  Esther was away from home when big things were laid at her feet to deal with.  I am not to like here so much that I lose my longing for heaven.  So Dayton, Memphis, Fort Wayne should never be so comfortable for me that I wish to just eat, drink and be merry!  

As my family and I settle into yet a new home, I hope that I can continue to reflect and learn.  I was a stray and through the Shepherd, I am brought home.  Thank you Lord!!

Why we have taken a CC (Classical Conversations) break.....

Some of you reading this may have come to CC through me and some may have chatted with me about it at some point or another.  I don't really owe an explanation for our choice but I feel that maybe some were curious when you are the cheer section for CC for many years and then all of a sudden you quietly back away.

To follow is a couple of my famous disclaimers: 

1.  I still love CC.  And may go back to it.  

2. I have sat through 8-9 practicums and I get the classical method or CC's version of it really well so I need no "refresher" course in the trivium or Classical methodology.

That being said, I have enjoyed being away from CC for the past few months.  I miss my friends and community but we were relocating anyway and that would have been a fact no matter if we had continued or not in our new location.  To make this easier to break down I am just going to list a few reasons we have broken with not only the CC model but the curriculum as a whole.

1.  We have done it for 7 years.  My son was starting his third round of cycle 1.  Repetition is good, but for us, it sounded tedious.  I had also in these years seen CC grow which was good but with severe growing pains.  I missed some of the things that were done well when CC was small.

2.  We were not happy.   The last couple of years my son and I were miserable.  I can never blame that all on curriculum choice, but I do know that since we changed my son specifically, likes his work.

3.  The memory master competition that works so well for so many students to motivate them, did not work well for my students when they once again failed.  My children learned so much under CC but it was always shadowed as they failed because they did not obtain Memory Master.  We were not going to sacrifice all on the alter of Memory master.  Please do not misunderstand me.  I feel that MM is a wonderful reward and there are so many families that work hard and obtain their goal with guidance and prayer.  But there is also the other side to this were it is a matter of pride and stubbornness.   So my average students, although learning and growing each year, often felt they had failed miserably when that reward was not obtained.

4.  My priorities changed.  After many years of feeling that my involvement in CC as director and tutor were for my children, I found that they were not.  They took away from my children.  This was my situation alone.  I am not saying that every director or tutor is taking away from their children.  I was taking from mine!  This year, I am present with my children.  It has been a refreshing break.

5.  CC is one interpretation of  the classical method.  It is a good one, making classical realistic for me for many years.  But....as I have read and studied, I am looking for a bit more of a synthetic (or our education having more synthesis) than was translated in using the CC curriculum.  "To Know God and to make Him Known" often got lost in our daily parrot of memory work.  I wanted to study things more as a whole.  How they all interconnect and to ultimately get to truth.  (I realize that the foundations phase is prep for that but my deep thinking 11 year old was ready to move on.)

6.  I love memory work and the foundation that it gave my children but I want to start to move beyond the poll parrot!  They knew facts and would light up if they heard anything relating to something they could recite but that is exactly where it stopped.  I guess my son was getting more dialectic than the curriculum was allowing.

7.  We were missing out on some other things that have made our home and school enjoyable.  My kids have loved good literature and enjoying the discussion of it.   We have loved walks and field trips more because we can take a day here and there.  We do not lose a whole day and spend another day recouping from our CC community day.

Again, I love CC and may go back to it at some point, but after seven years some of it's weaknesses were wearing on me.  I have seen a fire and light in my son that has not been there for many years.  He is more confident and more talkative and inquisitive.  He no longer second guesses himself or feels complete failure when he doesn't remember week 6's Latin memory work.

We are learning and having fun doing it and isn't that the goal for all homes?  I want my children to remember with fondness the memories of us learning together.

Oh and by the way.....

8.  I am learning so much too!